Try to Remain Calm

I am super excited to be able to write this blog entry!

My computer has been on the fritz.  By “the fritz” I mean it would NOT power on.  I did all the usual tricks – plug it in, press power button, shift+control+function+whatever and nothing happened. I mean NU-thing! blank screen.  All I could do was try to remain calm because getting my computer to a repair shop and explaining the problem AND getting it fixed is more than a notion.  Some of you may have heard of the plethora of unofficial Apple Stores in China.  Well, it’s true.  They are here.  And I was planning to take my MacBook woes to one of them on saturday afternoon.  Luckily, PRAM worked.  So here I am with my fully functioning computer at my fingertips.

My computer as a means of communication is infinitely more important to me now that I am immersed in an environment where Hanzi and the Chinese spoken languages reign supreme.   Seldom is English spoken or used, and even then it can be very random.  Typically it is translated by non-native English speakers which makes for some strange, absurd phrases.  The tag on my umbrella reads: This item is made under perfect control.  It’s not wrong. It’s just a little strange.

The good news is that the week I was off-line was my first official week of being exhausted and depressed.  Peace Corps volunteers have to go through two months of training before being sworn in officially as volunteers.  Right now I am a “trainee.”  We study Mandarin between 4-6 hours 6 days each week.  We also study how to teach English as a foreign language (TEFL) and we taught Chinese students in a 2-week mock school.  Also there are numerous trainings on how to live safe and healthy here under conditions that may be difficult.  These conditions can involve anything from the air quality, sexual health, protection from crime, to basic health care.  These session are key to our creating a healthy life and doing our work successfully here.

I could feel my stress levels increase over the past several days because tomorrow we find out where our training site will be.  The training site is the city/university where we will be teaching and living for the next two years of service. Our training site could be anywhere from 20 minutes from where we are living now to a 12 hour train ride away.  It may seem ridiculous for me to be anxious about moving to a far away province when I already made the big leap of moving to China.  From the day I left until now I have been going through this entire experience with fellow trainees.  We are connected closely even in our differences.  They have become an anchor for me.  I have made some close friends in the group and it is heartbreaking to think I may not see them for 6 months to a year or more.  Harsh!

On top of that I realized that I am just tired of starting over.  I have started over after leaving Salt Lake City. After leaving academia. After leaving Springfield, Illinois. and now, chances are, I will be leaving Chengdu.  For me it is not so much where I am going, the hard part is rebuilding friendships, community and collegial relationships.  It is something I do well, but damn…how many more times?  I guess that question is really up to me.

My host sister listened to my woes and then said to me,”think of your training now as preparation for your new life in China.” Yeah! I like that thought…Cheers to my new life in China!  So far so-so-so good.

Check out these photos from My First Chinese Birthday…

My host sister, Liu Xu with her cousins who prepared the most scrumptious birthday dinner ever!

Auntie and I laughing about something. ...I have family here.